Insomnia
by artyfan
Summary: Luna lies awake in Ravenclaw Tower, wondering what has happened to her life.


Luna pulled her blankets around her even more tightly. She felt cold, though she didn't think the temperature couldn't really be quite that low. She rubbed her feet. Her bare toes felt like ice against her warm palm.

Her dorm mates were asleep. She should be asleep, too. She needed to rest, if she wanted to keep fighting.

But she couldn't. No matter how long she stayed there, sleep wouldn't claim her. Perhaps it was her insomnia-that would be strange, though. She only had difficulty sleeping on Tuesdays. It was a Thursday. She was always asleep the moment she closed her eyes on Thursdays.

She sat up in bed, pulling the blankets closer still. She curled her toes in, towards the warmth. The dormitory was dark. She had never liked the dark, as a child.

Her father had told her once that there were things and creatures out in the night that she should always be careful of, be wary to encounter. Her mother had told her that there was good in the night too, but she had never forgotten the words of caution. She had always been so, so careful.

That had been years ago. She had been five.

Luna found it amazing how much people change over the years. She had once feared the night. Now, she found the shadows comforting. She felt safe in the night. She didn't have to worry about the Carrows, or the Cruciatus Curse, or-worse-having to perform that same curse on students. On first years. She was safe...Or at least as safe as she could ever be.

"We'll keep fighting," she murmured aloud, her soft voice unnaturally loud in the silent night. "It's all we can do."

She reached over to where she had left a small photograph on her nightstand. It was old and worn, folded and unfolded many times over the years. She unfolded it again, gazing into her mother's smiling face.

_Never be afraid to fly. I'll be there to catch you..._

She wasn't there. But Luna still flew. She took risks, and she would be there to catch others, just like her friends and family had caught her.

_I love you, Mum_, she thought, pale eyes shining in the dim light. _I'm going to make you proud._

She glanced at the clock. Just past midnight. She cocked her head to the side. Midnight on December fourteenth. She felt that that date should be significant to her, but she couldn't quite remember why.

Then it struck her.

It was her birthday. Her seventeenth birthday. Strange that she had forgotten. She was an adult today.

She didn't feel like an adult. She felt like a child out of her depth. She could keep resisting, but would it matter? How much of a difference would it make? What could one girl do against Lord Voldemort?

_Birthdays...How much do they matter, during a war? They're inconsequential, really. Especially now...Right now, all that matters is to keep fighting._

Luna drew her wand from the pocket of her dressing gown. She kept it with her, even when she slept. Only last year, she had left it on her nightstand.

Normally, she would wake someone to come with her. Neville had cautioned them against going out alone at night, and she usually followed his advice. But this would be her birthday present to herself, the only one she would get.

_Congratulations, Luna,_ she thought. _You're seventeen. Happy birthday._

She slipped her feet into the pair of slippers she kept by her bed. She felt a wonderful surge of reckless abandon. A small smile crept across her face. She grasped her wand tightly, shaking her long hair out of her face.

She made her way down the stairs and out of the common room, walking through the hallways of the castle in the dark. She moved quietly, listening carefully for any sound.

She didn't hear a thing. She stopped directly outside the office that she knew belonged to Alecto Carrow. She raised her wand. She paused for a brief instant. There were many things she could put. But she knew what she wanted to write, the one thing that she felt more strongly than anything else.

She moved her wand carefully, trying to form her words as neatly as she could.

_Dumbledore's Army - For Hogwarts._

A simple message. Nothing elaborate. But a truer statement Luna had never heard. They fought for Hogwarts, against Voldemort.

Luna hesitated, then added something else.

_A lion._

She flicked her wrist up.

_A badger._

She rotated her wand slowly to the right.

_An eagle._

A sharp movement of her whole arm, down and to the right.

_A snake._

A slow movement up, then a sharp jab.

_Hogwarts._

"We're not Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin." She wasn't safely in Ravenclaw Tower anymore. She was in an open hallway where anyone could hear her. She still spoke aloud. Did she feel the need to speak aloud to remind herself that she still had the power to resist? Or did she speak aloud because, deep down, she didn't believe that she could be harmed beyond repair at Hogwarts? She didn't know.

Luna tilted her head to one side to examine her handiwork. The paint wouldn't last forever. In fact, it would be gone the moment Snape or one of the Carrows noticed it. But she would know she had done it.

It didn't matter that few, if any, people would see it. It was her work, her resisting in her own small way. Even if none of the students saw it, Snape or one of the Carrows would. They would know the students still cared enough to fight, cared enough to try and make a difference.

And even if no one ever entered the hallway again, and no one ever saw it, she would still know. She would know that she was still strong. She would know they hadn't broken her yet.

_We're Hogwarts. And together, we can do anything._


End file.
